i am scared, i am fearful, my heart is raw

i’m walking the same road over and over

TODAY, i recognize nothing and no one

my fear is real, paralyzing

i have no idea what i am scared of

i feel it, in my gut

i feel it in my head and my heart

it threatens me, it teases me relentlessly, cruelly

i have become a master of disguise

forever hiding this brain storm

that rages upon me…….

never knowing where it begins or ends

at times, it settles and tricks me into false serenity

false bravery, false contentment

then just as i am about to walk out into the light

it comes back, laughing and strangling my dreams

it screams at me, your worthless, what have you done

no one will listen to what you say

you’re not worthy of all the things you believe

i want to scream back

i want to show it i’m strong

i know i am right and i know that its wrong

i believe in people, humanity and love

i believe in my generous God from above